I remember the first time I was asked to speak to a group about my experience with depression.
I said yes. And then, almost immediately, I regretted it.
Fear began to creep in. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I wasn’t sure I wanted people to know about my weaknesses and frailties. I was afraid that they would think less of me.
At that time, besides my husband and my sisters only a few very close friends knew what I had been going through. It’s not something you really want to talk about. The reason I had said yes to speaking was because during that depression I had felt God open my eyes to the suffering around me. I had a profound sense that I was not alone and that there were many others that didn’t speak of it but were in pain. I thought that if even one person was encouraged by my story then it would be worth it. And I was right about that.
But it was still scary. A few weeks before the event the women’s pastor was announcing the conference in a service and right out loud in front of 1000+ people she announced that Tracey Metzger had just been through several months of depression and would be speaking about it at the conference. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Why had I said yes??
Putting yourself out there can be terrifying but if God is calling you to do something, whether it is making yourself vulnerable like that or just taking that first step towards your dream…if he is calling you he will equip you with the boldness and the courage you need.
I did speak at that conference. It was scary but not as as scary as I had imagined it would be. I was humbled by how many people came to thank me for the glimmer of hope they had found in my story.
I love what Mordecai told Esther when she was afraid to step into the position that God had ordained for her:
By stepping into that place that God had prepared for her and prepared her for, Esther saved her people. Remember that you are part of God’s big picture and we all have a role.
What is God calling you to do that may be a little scary to you?
Make a resolution today to BE FEARLESS or at least to do it afraid!