All posts in Resolve

I remember the first time I was asked to speak to a group about my experience with depression.

I said yes.  And then, almost immediately, I regretted it.

Fear began to creep in.  I was afraid of what people would think of me.  I wasn’t sure I wanted people to know about my weaknesses and frailties. I was afraid that they would think less of me.

At that time, besides my husband and my sisters only a few very close friends knew what I had been going through.  It’s not something you really want to talk about. The reason I had said yes to speaking was because during that depression I had felt God open my eyes to the suffering around me. I had a profound sense that I was not alone and that there were many others that didn’t speak of it but were in pain. I thought that if even one person was encouraged by my story then it would be worth it.  And I was right about that.

But it was still scary. A few weeks before the event  the women’s pastor was announcing the conference in a service and right out loud in front of 1000+ people she announced that Tracey Metzger had just been through several months of depression and would be speaking about it at the conference. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.  Why had I said yes??

Putting yourself out there can be terrifying but if God is calling you to do something, whether it is making yourself vulnerable like that or just taking that first step towards your dream…if he is calling you he will equip you with the boldness and the courage you need. 

I made a resolution back then that if God was calling me to do something scary that I would resolve to be fearless and if I couldn’t be fearless then I would do it afraid!

I did speak at that conference. It was scary but not as as scary as I had imagined it would be.  I was humbled by how many people came to thank me for the glimmer of hope they had found in my story.

I love what Mordecai told Esther when she was afraid to step into the position that God had ordained for her:

By stepping into that place that God had prepared for her and prepared her for, Esther saved her people. Remember that you are part of God’s big picture and we all have a role.

What is God calling you to do that may be a little scary to you?

Make a resolution today to BE FEARLESS or at least to do it afraid!

Some people may choose to settle for less because they don’t want to work for more!

If it’s worth having it’s worth working for. 

I’m sure someone much smarter than me has said that before but when I searched for it as a quote I couldn’t find it so I’m claiming it!

In my quote search I found “If it’s worth having it’s worth fighting for” which is also true. But sometimes I think it’s easier to fight for something than to work for it.  Fighting for something, in my mind, evokes images of passion and fervent intention.  Sounds kind of exciting! Working for something, on the other hand, brings to my mind drudgery and laborious effort. Not so inviting.

Working just sounds hard. And sometimes it is.  But if it is worth having then it is worth working for. 

In 2 Thessalonians 3 Paul talks about this very thing.  He stresses the importance of not being lazy. God has called everyone of us to do great things in His name.  He wants to use us to bring solutions to the needs of this sometimes dark world.  That will require getting our hands dirty and working hard.  We must not become weary in well-doing. 

Never settle for less than God has for you because you don’t want to work for it.  We are promised that the payoff is worth every ounce of sweat.

I’m on a roll here with this blogging thing.  Thanks for those who have been reading along.  If you are just joining in, I have committed to blogging each week on the resolutions that a bunch of us made at RESOLVE, our first Girls Night Out of the year for For the Girls International.  You can see all of the resolutions here.

This 3rd week I’ll be talking about resolution #3 which is:

I resolve to refuse to settle for anything less than everything that God has for me.  

If we really stop and think about that we have to ask the question…why would we settle?

Why would we be willing to settle for less than God has planned for us? That opens up a lot of possibilities as answers.  It could be that we are not patient enough to wait for it.  It could be that we are not willing to work for it.  It could be that we don’t have enough faith to believe it will come to pass.  We could be under the mistaken impression that we don’t deserve it. It could be that what God has for us is so big that we are fearful to embrace it, afraid that we could not cope with it or live up to it. It could be that we are allowing Satan to use a number of those reasons to rob us of what is rightly ours as children of God. 

Whatever the reasons, there are times in our life that we compromise and settle for less than the best.

God’s word clearly tells us that Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full!! I love that!!  I want to live life to the full.  I do not want anything less than everything God has for me but that doesn’t mean that I don’t fall into the trap of settling at times.

So this week I want to dig a little deeper into what it means to NEVER SETTLE!  Are you ready?

Meditate today on this verse:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10

Ask yourself this question:
What am I allowing in my life to steal, kill and destroy my plans, my hopes, my joy? What would it look like if I was living life to the full?


Check back each day this week! On your journey to your best life, I would love to have the privilege of cheering you on.  Our God is amazingly generous and can do exceedingly abundantly above and beyond anything you could think of or even hope for! So why would you settle for anything less?

 When I was a teenager I wanted to be a cheerleader.  My father didn’t feel it would be right for me and forbid me to try out. I was so upset! I went crying to my mother about it and she told me to go ahead and try out without telling my dad, then if I made the team, we would deal with it when the time came.  (Yeah, she didn’t win any parent-of-the-year awards for that one!)

 The try-outs were held over the course of 2 weeks and during that time I did my best not to engage in a lot of conversation with my dad.  I was afraid that somehow I would expose myself if I talked too much.  So I avoided him as much as possible and made sure I figured out how to get to and from practices without involving him.

I was thrilled when I made it to the final try-out.  One more to go and I’d get to wear the cute outfit and hang out with the football players! On the day of the final round I had to call home to let my mom know that I’d be late.  I went to the pay phone – yes, the pay phone, put in my DIME (that’s how old I am!) and dialed my house.

To my horror, my DAD answered!!  That’s when things began to unravel. First, I asked if my mom was there but she wasn’t.  Uugh!  So, I told him that I needed to stay late.

And then he asked why.

I had to tell him.  I couldn’t lie. He was upset. I blamed my mom, of course. He told me to go to the last try-out and then we would talk.  So with red puffy eyes I went and gave probably the lamest effort they had ever seen and consequently did not make the team.

In the beginning of this week I talked about throwing off the things that slow us down so that we can run our race unencumbered.  The resolution to LIGHTEN UP was inspired by the commission in Hebrews 12:1, but there is a second part of that verse that we must not ignore.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

God has set guidelines for us. They are found in the Bible.  He instructs us in His ways for our protection.  He is not trying to suck the fun out of our lives.  When we are tempted to go around His instruction we are on dangerous ground. The farther we get from communication with Him, the easier it is to rationalize that what we are doing is ok.  We must not avoid talking to our heavenly Father.  If our communication with Him is broken it becomes harder and harder to hear His voice. Lines become blurred and before we know it, sin trips us up.  It’s that easy.

Thankfully, His grace is endless and sufficient.  No matter how far we are He is waiting with open arms, ready to pick us up and set us on our course again.  But wouldn’t it be great if we could avoid the detour altogether?!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Next week: Resolve Week 3 – REFUSE TO SETTLE

Unforgiveness is one of the heaviest pieces of baggage to drag around with you on your journey.  If we are going to run our race unencumbered we need to make sure that we are not harboring bitterness or anger toward someone that has wounded us. But how do you forgive someone that may not even be truly sorry?

When my daughter was a toddler and she would do something naughty like throw something at her brothers, I would do the motherly thing and march her over to apologize.  A forced apology is rarely sincere.  We still laugh today about how when forced to apologize she would give an icy stare, grit her teeth, barely open her mouth and say “Rorry” without any expression.  (that wasn’t a misspelling ~ that was how she said it)

The boys would be incensed saying, “Mom, she’s not really sorry!!”

She would go on her merry way having done her duty and they would remain all riled up about the injustice of it all.

My response to them would be, “Let it go.”

In this life you will be offended and you can count on being hurt by someone at some point. The decision you will have to make in favor of your mental and emotional health is to forgive them and let it go.  If you don’t it will slow down your forward motion.

But how? Here are some suggestions…

1. Prayer. Lots of it.  ~ Pray not only for strength to forgive but pray for that person’s well being.  This is hard to do but it will help you to see past their fault to their need. You may even begin to have compassion for that person.

2. Have a ceremony ~ Write down who and what you are choosing to forgive and then do something creative to symbolize letting it go.  Burn it (safely in a sink).  Write it on toilet paper and flush it down the toilet…whatever helps you to visualize officially letting it go.

3. Say it out loud ~ It helps to hear yourself say it.  Say it over and over again.  I choose to forgive _____.

4.  Remember that forgiveness is a choice and an act of obedience to God.  It is not a feeling.  You may not feel any different at first but you will over time. Be patient with yourself, forgiveness is often a process.  You know you are making progress when you can think of the person without the offense being the first thing that comes to mind. 

Resolve Week Two:
I resolve to lighten up.  
To read about the other resolutions…click here 

The other day I was running a little late to a bridal shower (not unusual for me.) Because of my terrible time management skills I had to rush to get dressed and wrap my present so I was relieved that I had only gotten there 10 minutes late.  Upon arriving the host served me a drink and I began mingling with the guests.  After greeting quite a few people a friend came up behind me and whispered that my tag was hanging out of my shirt.  I thought it was the tag of the maker of the shirt, but no, it was the entire price tag that I had neglected to remove in the rush.  So there I was mingling at the party with a big old Macy’s tag hanging down my back!  So embarrassing!  But I was so grateful for the friend that had let me know and had saved me from going through the whole party that way.

In those kinds of situations we welcome the truth-tellers in our lives.  The friend who will tell us when we have something in our teeth or an outfit really doesn’t look good on us.  Those kinds of friends are not afraid to cause us momentary embarrassment to save us from further humiliation.

However there is a type of truth that is not so easy to receive from a friend.  The kind of truth that validates the common expression “the truth hurts.” Many times it is easier for a friend or someone close to us to see the baggage that we are carrying around.  But when our defense mechanisms kick in we can become very good at convincing ourselves that we are all right and don’t really need to make any changes. I’ve tried to make it a habit that if I receive feedback that sounds like criticism, no matter the source, I will try to peel it back to see if there is any truth to it. 

We know who the truth-tellers are in our life and we should seek out their council.  If I am avoiding telling one of my truth-tellers something that is going on in my life, it is an indication that I may be heading in the wrong direction.

I thank God for the people in my life who I can count on to tell me the truth, even if it hurts.  I have to constantly remind myself to welcome their input.

A good friend and truth-teller should be:
 (take note if you are a truth-teller to someone else)

1. Trustworthy – You need to know that you can trust that person to tell the truth about you to you, but not the to rest of the world!
2. Faithful – You want truth-tellers to be willing to stand by you as you work through the issues you may be facing. It’s unusual for change to happen overnight.
3. Loving – The manner in which hard truths are told should be loving and full of grace.

Take a quick minute to pray and ask God to provide you with good friends that will run alongside of you on your journey ~ if they are doing their job they will ensure that you travel light!

Resolve Week Two:
I resolve to lighten up.  
To read about the other resolutions…click here